Series Review: Torchwood - Miracle Day

Like Jack himself, Miracle Day is a tale of immortality that has no idea when to end

I've never been much of a fan of Torchwood, ever since the slick, technological powerhouse from Doctor Who was relegated to a grot-infested sewer in Cardiff for its first series incarnation. That dark and dingy downgrade exemplified the core problem I had with the spin-off; it wanted to riff off of the no-holds-barred sci-fi nonsense of Who, but was too enamoured with its own ideal of being gritty and adult to ever let itself do anything entertaining with the concept. Where Doctor Who could let its childish wackiness set the pace and tone, Torchwood was in desperate need of its own pace-setter.

Children of Earth proved to be an excellent turnaround for the series in that regard, more than halving the series run of thirteen standalone episodes to just five instalments with one continuous storyline. It was leaner, punchier and, most importantly of all, didn't flop about from point to point like a cat trying to mindlessly pounce on a laser pen dot. And if that seems like a strange analogy, I'm afraid it pretty much sums up where Miracle Day goes wrong.

Series Review: Doctor Who - Closing Time

INT. AN ORDINARY HOUSE, DAY

THE DOCTOR

Oh come on, it's the
penultimate episode of the
series; do we really have
time to piss the story
up a tree like this?

JAMES CORDEN

I'm such a terrible father!

If only I weren't such a

useless shit I might

be able to cope!

JAMES CORDEN'S BABY

I'm the most well behaved

infant in the world, what

possible issues are you having

that couldn't be dealt with

by even semi-competent

parents?

Digital Remix: Sonic the Hedgehog part 1

It's time to showcase the many excellent remixes of a series steeped in memorable music

Excellent music has been a constant across the entire Sonic series, regardless of the quality of the games; the combination of a cartoonish cast and a healthily unrestrained approach to balls-to-the-floor set-piece design is reflected in a legacy of varied, catchy and energetic tunes.

As you'd expect, this has led to a pretty diverse portfolio of remixes and rearrangements, and there are way too many to contain within one post. With that in mind, I'd like to present to you an entire album this week, one of several pulled together by the OCRemix community and one with more than a few highlights to pick out.

Spotlight On: Squeedgemonster

No webcomic this week, just big, bright monsters as far as the eye can see

Squeedgemonster is a big fan of her fantasy creatures - all horns and claws and big fang-filled grins - but combines them with the bold and clean lines of a graffiti artist. The result is a range of leering and dangerous characters, exuding an air of ominous, deep-seated malevolence, yet full of colour and life and sheer exuberant vitality. If monsters and furry-themed album covers don't do it for you, Squeedgemonster recently knocked out a batch of drawings for Shark Week, which avoid being too caricatured while still retaining the energetic style that is so immediately and obviously hers.

The picture to your right is one of several bits of artwork she's done for http://www.lapfoxtrax.com/, and features one part of their duo of musical shark girls, Mischief and Mayhem; I can't honestly say their music does anything much for me, but it would be fairly remiss of me not to mention what is arguably the soundtrack to her art, especially when it ties in so heavily to the two characters she draws more than any other; besides, their site links straight to their store, should you fancy adorning your walls or self with her work, which you really should. It's slightly annoying that Squeedgemonster isn't taking any commissions right now, as you'd probably be seeing something of hers at the top of this blog right now if she were, but until she does, please do enjoy Mayhem about to toast someone with the evil cousin of Bullet Bill.

See more at http://squeedgemonster.deviantart.com/

Digital Remix: Cheetahmen theme

A pair of excellent remixes from two of the worst games in history

Action 52 was a baffling and distressing addition to the NES library; based on illegal Taiwanese carts that ripped dozens of legitimate games at a time, sold for an astonishing $200 and home to some of most the incompetent programming committed to screen, it was little wonder that the compilation was never officially licensed by Nintendo.

Possibly the most incredible part of the saga is that, despite being so abominably awful it couldn't even receive official licensing, Active Enterprises apparently believed that the star of the piece, The Cheetahmen, would be successful enough to spawn its own toy range, perhaps even more. The discovery of a fifteen hundred-strong cache of cartridges for Cheetahmen 2, re-purposed from old Action 52 carts, only further demonstrates that human folly really does know no bounds.

On the face of things, there really isn't anything too special about the one and only tune to be found throughout the two Cheetahmen games, although it made a perfect soundtrack for Syoban Action (more on that in a few posts' time...). But in the hands of the OCRemix community, a pair of excellent remixes have come forth, and both have their own unique charms.

The first is a punchy techno track highly reminiscent of the Timesplitters series:



The second goes for a more retro bent, and would be perfectly at home with the jazzy sounds of Sonic 3. Enjoy them both.

Free Game Giveaway: Super Mario Crossover

Is Mario the true hero of the Mushroom Kingdom? Simon Belmont disagrees. And so does Mega Man and SOPHIA and Samus and...

Hacks and tributes to Super Mario Bros are ten a penny these days, but SMC goes to astonishing efforts to recreate the classic NES platformer, from graphics to physics, without a change in sight; having done so, it then throws in a slew of classic 8-bit characters to find out if Mario really is the best man for the job, in his own video game.

From Simon Belmont to Mega Man, a host of NES classics are represented here, and while their various powerups have been modified to fit the three-tier mushroom economy of Mario's world, they all accurately represent their respective franchises, and it's equally fascinating and nerve-wracking to see them duke it out with Bullet Bills and Cheep-Cheeps; Mega Man has serious problems against the Lakitus in particular, as his inability to aim upwards makes for a frantic and powerless mess of a run, constantly stopping to bring in Rush so he can bounce over high obstacles. SOPHIA of Blaster Master fame, meanwhile, proves to be an unstoppable juggernaut, as her jetpack and multi-directional fire make short work of both Lakitus and tricky jumping segments.