During the many, many trips to the loading screen, Skyrim offers the useful hint that bears, while as deadly as one ton of razor-tipped furball should be, will generally leave you alone if unprovoked.
Lies. Absolute, god-damned lies, issued forth from the mouth of Loki himself. I don't know if my Argonian moisturises himself with steak tenderloin when I'm not looking, but those lumbering fuckers can't get enough of me. The second they clap eyes on me, they come tearing over hill and dale with all piss and vinegar, yearning, aching for juicy reptilian ribs.
And this isn't just me belly-aching. They become as single-minded as a worker ant crossed with The Terminator; a pair of grizzlies charged through the entire Riften town guard, a group of nearby traders and a god-damn dragon, such was their lust for my flesh.
My solution of blowing them downhill with a gust of kick-ass Dovahkiin breath didn't go quite as planned, as it sent the two-dozen warriors I'd been sort of banking on at this point careening towards sea level like skittle pins. On the plus side, they were stopped short when they broadsided the dragon.
But in all seriousness, screw you Bethesda. Just... the hell with you.
Lies. Absolute, god-damned lies, issued forth from the mouth of Loki himself. I don't know if my Argonian moisturises himself with steak tenderloin when I'm not looking, but those lumbering fuckers can't get enough of me. The second they clap eyes on me, they come tearing over hill and dale with all piss and vinegar, yearning, aching for juicy reptilian ribs.
And this isn't just me belly-aching. They become as single-minded as a worker ant crossed with The Terminator; a pair of grizzlies charged through the entire Riften town guard, a group of nearby traders and a god-damn dragon, such was their lust for my flesh.
My solution of blowing them downhill with a gust of kick-ass Dovahkiin breath didn't go quite as planned, as it sent the two-dozen warriors I'd been sort of banking on at this point careening towards sea level like skittle pins. On the plus side, they were stopped short when they broadsided the dragon.
But in all seriousness, screw you Bethesda. Just... the hell with you.
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