Spotlight On: Sonic For Hire

Sonic's all washed up, so I guess that makes him... Hog-washed? Does that work? Whatever

Some might say that, in the wake of Sonic Generations, a parody featuring Sonic as a washed up, down-and-out douchebag has come a little late, but fuck it - Sonic still has a few years of shovellin' ahead of him if he wants to truly be free from the spectre of the notorious 'Sonic Cycle', plus a proper, long-form series from the LowBrow team (they of Dorkly fame) is always welcome.

Far from being a star, Sonic is jobless, barely scraping rent and spends his days watching his favourite poster in lieu of owning an actual television. Taking jobs in a variety of videogames, Sonic fathers an illegitimate monster-child with the Mother Brain, falls into debt with mafia godfather Mario and eventually takes on his own empire with a pants-less Eggman and a murderous, demented Kirby.

Sonic For Hire displays the same quality production values of Dorkly Bits, but has the benefit of a coherent, multi-episode storyline. Three series in, the creators appear to be putting off the next batch of episodes while they make a Mega Man-centric animation, but click here to start watching the run so far.

Spotlight On: Wizard School

When destiny throws you a curve ball, take it for all the free booze you can magic up

This unashamed rip-off of the Potterverse begins with the chosen one being gunned down by his mortal enemy; despite casting every protection spell known to man, he forgot to protect against physical projectiles, like bullets. These opening pages set the tone of Wizard School right off the bat and promise a pretty good endgame somewhere down the line, because if the dark lord in question is a sarky, evil-minded bastard who's read a bit too much of the Evil Overlord List, then he has nothing on lead asshole Russell Graham.

Spotlight On: Warbot in Accounting

We're an equal opportunity employer here, even for instruments of death. Especially for instruments of death

It's never made clear why a hulking war machine needs to make ends meet as an office schlub, but it's both achingly cute and heartbreakingly sad to see him try so hard, yet fail to often. A trip to the fax machine takes him several hours, while his attempts to save a cat from being run over result in a front-page massacre.

So easily could he have made his problems go away with gunfire, but not this Warbot; whether attempting a date or building a child for Take Your Daughter to Work Day, he takes the obstacles presented by his enormous frame, stubby arms and lack of speech functions in his stride. That his prospective girlfriends occasionally suffer tragic deaths and his blind, crippled daughter now sits in a bin, praying for death, doesn't seem to slow him down. Or possibly he can't find his auto-destruct.

Warbot in Accounting isn't updated often, but Nuklear Power is home to several comics, including the now finished 8-Bit Theater, so blast your way through Warbot's short run and check out the rest of their portfolio here.

Spotlight On: Lackadaisy

A story of a time gone by, in many shades of brownish-grey

Lackadaisy shares a few of the same elements as published comic Blacksad, from an anthropomorphic cast to a pleasingly realistic period setting, in this case the height of prohibition and the speakeasy. The sepia-toned setting is contrasted by a big-eyed, cartoonish cast, but a stylistic choice that could have turned the series into complete farce is always bound by reality, adding a slight but tangible layer of levity to even the darkest of moments while never descending into physics-defying slapstick.

Lackadaisy tells the story of the eponymous speakeasy, fallen on hard times since the none-too-peaceful death of its owner, Atlas May; under the ownership of his wife Mitzi, the security of angry, crippled man-monster Viktor and the unpredictable lunacy of Rocky, the hired guns of Lackadaisy have to get back on their feet the only way they know how - sabotage, trickery, good old fashioned thievery and a shy tiger who gets a screaming case of the crazies whenever he grabs hold of a gun.

Digital Remix: Bit Brigade

Pray silence for the finest in guitar-shredding, speed-running goodness

Once in a while you come across something that makes you glad to be alive. Something where you really feel the privilege of being a sentient creature with the sensory faculties to enjoy said something. It's all subjective of course, and unless you really crave the electric mixture of live bands, retro game music and 8-bit speed runs, the following video is probably going to leave you a bit cold. But if all three float your boat, then the following video is about as perfect a blend as is ever likely to exist. So, if you have forty-five minutes to spare and a head in need of some banging (so to speak), then it is my pleasure to introduce you to the truly magnificent Bit Brigade.

Until next time, and a happy new year to all.

Spotlight on: Spinnerette

There's a new hero squirting sticky white fluid everywhere: meet Spinnerette

I've never been an enormous fan of superhero comics; far be it from me, a fan of super-sonic hedgehogs and bright blue weapon-stealing robots, to say that adults can't enjoy something fundamentally aimed at children, but therein lies the problem - Marvel and DC tried to grow up with their audience, and it went about as well as you'd expect for adults clinging to their childhood. Trying to slap a welcome layer of self-knowing deprecation on top really doesn't help either; it just adds layer after ridiculous layer to a pair of universes that manage to reboot and retrograde themselves all the time, yet can never bear to completely drop something from the increasingly tangled Christmas lights that are their respective continuities. I'd go on, but this paragraph ended up running to five hundred words more before I deleted it in favour of simply moving on to today's comic, Spinnerette.

Tongue firmly in cheek, Spinnerette avoids the trap of straight-up parody, instead playing out as a relatively by-the-numbers comic that comes with its own collection of quirks, be it the League of Canadian Superheroes announcing themselves in both English and French or lead girl Heather being sued by Marvel after using a fancy dress costume for her disguise. Everyone has their own quirks; the male Green Gable is forced by tradition to follow his female superhero ancestors by wearing a dress, and Kat O'Nine Tails uses her prehensile tails to be a part-time masseuse. Heather, meanwhile, learns to her dismay while trying to shoot webs from her wrists that, true to a spider's anatomy, her webbing shoots out from her butt; close enough, at least, to make using it an off-puttingly awkward affair in early chapters.

Author KrazyKrow apparently has plans for the future, including a spin-off featuring the lead trio's Canadian counterparts, but none of it is likely to see the light of day without support and recognition. So, head on over to http://www.krakowstudios.com/spinnerette/ to start reading.

Spotlight on: Dorkly Bits

There are plenty of video games parodies about, but few that are as self-assured as this. Dorkly Bits shares the anarchic sense of humour of Family Guy, with everything from Samus Aran getting a lesson in gender politics from her agent to the horrifying truth behind Tails' immortality, but brought together from sprites ripped from the very games they're parodying.

It's amazing what you can do with a Photoshop chop-job and the liberal application of Flash, but there's a professionalism that belies the retro graphics; occasionally you'll spot an eyeball not quite where it should be, but the transition from original to modified sprite is pretty seamless overall, and they do a great job of recreating the feel and physics of each game when necessary.

It all adds up to a world we know and love from bygone years, with a real yet surreal twist. If you want to show your support for Dorkly Bits, head over to http://www.dorkly.com/originals and consider buying a copy of this magnificent beast:

Spotlight On: Squeedgemonster

No webcomic this week, just big, bright monsters as far as the eye can see

Squeedgemonster is a big fan of her fantasy creatures - all horns and claws and big fang-filled grins - but combines them with the bold and clean lines of a graffiti artist. The result is a range of leering and dangerous characters, exuding an air of ominous, deep-seated malevolence, yet full of colour and life and sheer exuberant vitality. If monsters and furry-themed album covers don't do it for you, Squeedgemonster recently knocked out a batch of drawings for Shark Week, which avoid being too caricatured while still retaining the energetic style that is so immediately and obviously hers.

The picture to your right is one of several bits of artwork she's done for http://www.lapfoxtrax.com/, and features one part of their duo of musical shark girls, Mischief and Mayhem; I can't honestly say their music does anything much for me, but it would be fairly remiss of me not to mention what is arguably the soundtrack to her art, especially when it ties in so heavily to the two characters she draws more than any other; besides, their site links straight to their store, should you fancy adorning your walls or self with her work, which you really should. It's slightly annoying that Squeedgemonster isn't taking any commissions right now, as you'd probably be seeing something of hers at the top of this blog right now if she were, but until she does, please do enjoy Mayhem about to toast someone with the evil cousin of Bullet Bill.

See more at http://squeedgemonster.deviantart.com/

Spotlight On: The Abominable Charles Christopher

For the first installment of Spotlight, Fruitbat looks at the abominably good Charles Christopher

Sometimes I think that Abominable could be the next great newspaper cartoon, if the internet hadn't rendered them completely obsolete, and if webcomic readers and tabloid readers intersected on the great Venn diagram of life in any way shape or form.

And don't think for a minute that I'm placing it side by side with the likes of Marmaduke and Fred Basset (the British equivalent, in so far that they both contain dogs and make you burst into peals of inconsolable despair). No, this would stand tall with the likes of The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes, a comic that delivers humour and poignancy in three-to-six panels, wrapped up in a quality of artwork that is pretty much lost in the current sea of mediocrity.

Welcome One and All!

It's a brand new Fortress! Where posts are as punctual as British Rail and factual accuracy is a thing of the past!

Seriously though, with my workload chopped in half (who knew you could work as little as 40 hours in a week?) I'm finally in a position to spend some quality time with my Fortress, and with it will come new articles posted on a weekly basis of all things media (but mostly games, if I'm being honest), as well as some new sections including but not necessarily limited to:

Free Game Giveaway

Man, there sure are some good games out there, and some of them won't cost you a dime! They may be short, a little rough around the edges and occasionally demand runtimes that they should really have the foresight to package with the installer, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve your love, and that's why I'll be featuring them.

Retro|Spective

Like a vintage car, all games have to fall out of fashion and grow old. But unlike a vintage car, they can stay spotless for evermore, without rusting or bits occasionally falling off. Some even improve, like vintage wine! The ones featured in Retro|Spective are my favourites, hand-picked and Fruitbat-certified.

Digital Remix

If there's one way in which video games haven't aged a day, it's in the music department. Retro tunes are as catchy as they ever were, and their synthetic beeps have only retained their charm. From the early days through to the modern day, many is the tune that can be rejuvenated and made new once again by a catchy remix. Check in here for some of the best.

Artist Spotlight

Thanks to the internet and the advent of digital galleries, finding a raft of talented artists and decent webcomics has never been easier, to the point of being ridiculously overwhelming. Since I love rummaging through both galleries and webcomics, I'll be showcasing my favourites in the hope that they can become yours as well.

Series Review

I'm damned if I have the time to pick apart a TV series episode-by-episode, week in, week out, but once the dust has settled and things have run their course, I'll be giving my verdict on whether it was all worth it. Series' both new and old will find a home here.

That's all for now; welcome to the Fortress, and enjoy your stay!